


Alan's Psychadelic Breakfast

by stonedusagi



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Mature themes but nothing explicit, Nothing but angst, Other, Reader is sad, That's it, souless sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 07:03:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20523914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stonedusagi/pseuds/stonedusagi
Summary: I'd always wanted to write a Souless!Sam/pining!Reader fic, but I can't be counted on to finish full length fics. So here is a piece of one I stared but never did anything with, in which Y/N pines for Sam Winchester over a bowl of soggy cereal.





	Alan's Psychadelic Breakfast

His back was to me when I woke up the next morning, as it always was. I stared at the ceiling for several moments contemplating whether or not I was elated, or miserable. There was never a distinguishable line between the two.

I looked over at his sleeping form; the way his hair fell onto the pillow, the way his muscles moved with his breathing, the way his skin was bruised in some places, the scratch marks on his back. I looked at my nails and sighed: I had a habit of biting them to the quick..

I pushed the vomit back into my stomach and looked away as the line grew a little clearer in my mind.

When I sat up, my head began to split apart and my vision blurred. 

_ Too fast.  _ I scolded myself.  _ Too fast. _

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and slowly made my way to the small kitchen area of the hotel room. After pulling on my robe, I put on a pot of coffee and began to fix two bowls of cereal, the breakfast of champions.

I sat at the counter and began going through the emails on my Blackberry, not that I had very many. A few spams messages (fine, I lied,  _ mostly  _ spam messages) but there were also a couple from friends I hadn’t bothered talking to in a few months. 

Friends I didn’t even consider friends so much as work associates..

“Do I smell coffee?”

I looked up from my phone as Sam Winchester sat up in bed running a hand through his bed matted hair. His sleepy eyes examined the bowls of cereal I had fixed, and the brewing coffee. I couldn’t help but smile and clumsily slip from the stool I was on.

“Oh, yeah. I thought you’d probably need some.” I poured a mug full and carried it to him.

“Thanks.” he replied and took a gulp. After a few seconds of silence, I looked away and nodded towards the cereal.

“Hungry? All I had was a box of Lucky Charms. I hope that’s okay. I’m sure you haven’t had a decent breakfast since you guys left.” 

“Yeah. That’s fine.”

Standing at the counter with my back to him, I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my lip. It was going to be one of  _ those  _ days. The days when I was just the maid. The annoying, chatty maid that couldn’t take a hint, apparently. My stomach wound itself into knots and it was a chore to keep my hands from shaking as I picked up with bowl and took it to Sam.

I walked back over to the stool and sat down, my eyes staring at the floor where my heart had fallen and lay bleeding. 

Sam Winchester and I had met on a job. His grandfather, Samuel, had called me to tag along and help kill a few fairies, since he knew I was kind of the Tinkerbell killing professional around the area. 

The job was simple enough; kill a little house full of shoe-making elves, save a few folks from being tormented, aaand go our separate ways.

The job, easy. Sam, not so much.

After being left alone to do some research together, it took exactly seven minutes and eleven seconds for my pants to come off.

And yeah, a one night thing is no problem. Simple, piece of cake (or ass, whatever). It wasn’t my first rodeo, and I figured it wouldn’t hurt, especially since any hunter in the world knows the Winchesters are basically legendary, but there was something else, something I couldn’t pinpoint, and definitely something I’ve never even had to  _ try  _ to pinpoint before.

The first night I lay there looking at Sam, him looking at me, and I fell.

Hard.

And I landed. Harder. Right on rock bottom.

“Are you okay?”

I looked up and Sam was staring at me, a spoonful of cereal in front of his mouth. My heart jumped.

“Yes! I’m fine!” I said, my voice hitting a pitch so high I never thought possible. I forced a sloppy grin and he shrugged, looking back to his breakfast.

“Did everything go okay in Nevada?” I asked after a lonely silence. Sam nodded, but didn’t go into detail. I looked back at my nails and how they were raw from being bitten down so short. “You didn’t get hurt, did you?”

“Nah.”

I winced, but turned away so he wouldn’t notice. 

It was not uncommon for Sam to come back with “bruises” on his neck. When doing his laundry, I would almost always smell some expensive perfume, or find red lipstick smudged on his shirts.

I tried to overlook these things. We never said anything about being exclusive, we never established...anything, really. Sam would come, stay until Samuel called with a job, then leave again, coming back when the job was done and he was in need of someone to make breakfast the next morning.

I stopped with the pancakes and bacon as a small passive aggressive jab, but he either didn’t notice, or didn’t care.

“You keep zoning out.”

Again, I looked up, and Sam was standing next to me, looking down at me. He lifted my chin up with his finger and kissed me. He tasted like Lucky Charms marshmallows and the acid in my throat turned to butterflies.

“Oh, um, yeah. Sorry. I’ve been busy with this job that I just can’t seem to figure out..”

_ Liar, liar, pants on fire.. _

“Need help?” He asked, turning to walk into the bathroom; the scratches on his back caught my eye again and made me want to gag.

“Nah. I wouldn’t wanna bother you on your time off..” I said and he replied with something, but my ears were ringing and I didn’t quite catch it; probably something along the lines of “if you say so.” He was probably relieved I declined.

He started his shower and I mindlessly swirled mushy Lucky Charms around in the milk, chewing my lip and wishing I was could crack open his mind and unspool his thoughts, absorbing everything and finally understand what he was thinking.

_ You’re an easy piece of ass, that’s what he’s thinking, you idiot. _

I groaned and pushed the cereal away from me, resting my forehead on the cool countertop, my eyes screwed shut. 

“Hey, Y/N?” Sam’s voice shouted from the shower, and I, of course, jumped from my stool and almost tripped over his shoes as I ran towards the bathroom. I’d make a great dog, huh?

“Yes?” I asked almost breathlessly, entering the steamy bathroom. 

Sam stuck his head out from behind the shower curtain, his hair dripping and water running the arm that held the curtain, glistening on his muscles...I let my eyes wander and my mouth went dry. Sam smirked at me as I blushed, and when he opened his mouth, I started to smile, readying myself to hop in with him. 

“Could you get the shampoo out of my bag?”

My heart fell and I tried not to let the disappointment show.

“Oh, yes, of course.” I stammered and stepped out of the bathroom, taking a deep breath of the cool air outside of the room.

_ I should just start saying ‘yes, sir.’ Or maybe buy a collar. _

I spotted his bag on the opposite side of the bed and walked over to it, opening it and rummaging through the various clothes and items.

I found a woman’s panties before I found the shampoo. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is from, like, 2016. Maybe one day I'll be inspired enough to add to this. Perhaps some small pieces like this.


End file.
